A Letter to Teachers: Who's Doing Your Homework?

1/23/2017

Yet again, it was a night of frustration at the Stevens household (and dangit, it's only Monday!) with--you guessed it--homework. Let's forget all the research about homework being detrimental to students; I'm going anecdotal here.

I'm not sure whether I should send this as an email, so I'm asking for your help. There's a great chance that this never hits her inbox, but I needed to reflect. Here it goes:

Dear (Teacher),

I am writing you this afternoon to inform you about what has been happening in the Stevens household for the past few weeks. In fact, I'll get right to it: I'm doing a lot of my son's homework for him.

He is supposed to read the directions for his homework, but he struggles, so I help him... well, it becomes me reading it to him because I get frustrated.

He is supposed to write sentences about a picture that he draws, so I help him... well, I tell him what to write so that it's a complete sentence and how to spell his non-sight words.

He is supposed to create math problems, so I help him... well, I craft the story for him and coach him through the math.

He is supposed to go through his sight words as practice, so I help him... well, I don't do it nearly as often because he's so busy completing his homework pages that are assigned every week. I would love to, but by the time we get done with homework, it's time for dinner, then bath, then cleaning up, then books, then bed.

He is supposed to be a young and energetic boy, exploring and discovering, so I help him... well, I don't really, because I know that he holds you in such high regard and doesn't want to get in trouble for not doing his homework. He's more concerned about doing your homework packet than putting together his LEGO set, drawing dinosaurs, or reading his own books.

I will continue to find ways in which his curiosity can be fostered, his imagination be set free, and his love of learning to be nurtured, all while he churns through his homework packets and burns through pencil-top erasers in fits of frustration of apparent incompetence. I'm a fellow educator, but certainly not an expert in elementary education.

Sincerely,

A Dad Who's Still Trying To Figure Out Dadding With A School-Aged Son

Happy "Better Home Activities" Fishing

6 Comments

Jamie Duncan link

1/23/2017 10:05:17 pm

Oh man. I know this is so tough. I don't see anything wrong with the email. I think a lot of teachers actually send homework because they think they have to. I don't think they see a lot of value in sending it themselves. It might be good to add at the end of your email, something where you ask to meet and talk through some solutions in person. Sometimes, depending on the teacher and their mood that day an email could be received differently than it was intended. Then, if you get a chance to talk in person she would probably be a lot more open to working through this and it would probably be a better opportunity for you to share what you know about homework in the primary grades especially. Good luck! I know it's tough. My kids go to work WITH me so...

Patricia Vandenberg link

1/23/2017 10:50:55 pm

Teachers everywhere need to read this! Teachers should really take a long, hard look at what they assign and if it is meaningful work that the students to can accomplish with a good deal of success. If not, don't assign it. Do it in class! And if I may, I'll add an anecdote of my own: during parent-teacher conferences all my parents said not to assign more homework because they didn't know how to help their already struggling student complete it.

Ethan Weker link

1/24/2017 08:44:53 am

I absolutely think the teacher needs to know this, but also needs to realize that if the child of an involved parent who is also an educator is putting in this much work, other households may look very different than what the teacher envisions (if the teacher has a vision of what homework looks like to begin with). How many students in that class have parents who are less involved? How many of those students just don't get their homework done, or done well? And, with those students as with your son, what's the point of the homework?
I do assign homework for my high school classes, but only relatively small assignments, without set due dates, and with a (hopefully) clear message to parents and students that if a homework assignment causes undue stress or takes an inordinate amount of time, they need to tell me. Either I created a poor assignment or I didn't teach the ideas well enough, but if they're doing everything right, the onus falls on me to fix the situation.
The thing that made me fully buy into how I do homework was the realization that if a student hated their homework time, then they'd bring that same emotion to my class. That's an impossible thing to combat, especially if that student has a negative history with math classes, or school in general. Better to do away with the homework and have the student excited about my class. Maybe something like that would resonate for this teacher?
My daughter is in a K/1 class, and her only homework so far is reading/being read to 20 minutes a day, whatever she wants, most days. I'm dreading what may be coming in a few years, living in Silicon Valley, but look forward to hearing how you respond and how it's received. Good luck!

Lauren

1/24/2017 05:28:41 pm

As a teacher, I'm with you.

I do think it's worth noting that in my conferences with parents (I teach 6th grade) I have had many parents request more work for their students. I've even had them stress how they need to be prepared for the workload or college!

Also, with the vast amount of standards to be covered over the course of the year and standardized testing that expects the students to have all of the knowledge mastered in April, there is a lot of systemic pressure to have some of the work go home.

To be honest I think learning would be more meaningful if grades weren't attached to it either, but parents in my system have rejected that model and no homework models.

Paula Torres

1/25/2017 08:06:37 am

This makes me sad and frustrated too! Frustrated because by the time they get to high school, their love of learning is GONE! Those who are "good students" have only learned the skill of "teacher pleasing" in order to get a good grade and don't care a lick about what they have/haven't learned. It's an uphill battle to combat.

Combine that with the fact that in order to do well on the golden ticket called the SAT, they are trying to cram in studying for it during their junior year (at the last minute) with mindless vocabulary cards and the only way to REALLY prepare is to be well read. But, we squashed out their interest in reading altogether by giving them hours of other work to do. So we squandered all those years on busywork. And now they don't like reading either. Don't get me started on how much they dislike math.

So I feel sad for the students who never get to find out how much fun learning about new things can be....and frustrated that the system has not figured this out yet.

I agree with the other folks in this thread that this needs to be shared with all teachers but more specifically, your son's teacher.

Andrew Stadel link

1/27/2017 01:10:29 am

Hang in there, amigo.
For what's worth and hopefully not too late, I recommend a face-to-face appointment with the teacher. What do you think about emailing to express you'd like to meet in person to respectfully discuss some concerns you have with homework. Where do you and your wife stand with determineing an appropriate amount of time for your son to do homework in order for him to still have time to be a kid? What do you think about the idea of saying your son will only work on homework for X minutes because it's important he have a chance to be a kid for Y minutes? What do you think about telling the teacher this and asking your son to not be penalized?
I'm sure you've considered the following: How would you prefer a parent of one of your students to address this concern with you?

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A Letter to Teachers: Who's Doing Your Homework?

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